Thanks, Whatever

This month is typically the time of year when most people turn their thoughts to all the things that they are grateful for. While I am grateful for a lot of things, like family, friends, testimonies, Tivo, and Diet Coke, there are some things that I just can't handle. So being a non-conformist, I feel it is my duty to compile a list of some of my complaints. This list is in no way all inclusive of all my complaints, but I have to start somewhere. Nor are they in any particular order.

1. What's up with dirty hands, seriously! Most days I can't keep a shirt clean all day. Why, you may ask. Am I just a slob? Not really (not most days anyway). Mostly they get stained because of little dirty hand prints on my shirts. Why don't kids notice that their hands are dirty before they insist upon giving me hugs. Can't they plan ahead? Why doesn't my 4 year old think to herself, "Gosh, I wanna give my mom a hug. Hand check! Yup, dirty. Better go wash my hands before I give her any affection." Sure doesn't happen like that. So unless I change my shirt right away, when I look down and see dirty hand prints on my shirt, I'm reminded of little hands reaching for me and putting their arms around my neck, and hearing the words, "I love you Mom". Sheesh! The good thing is that Jason isn't big enough to get hand prints on my shirt yet. That's what pants are for.

2. I live in Utah. I get woken up at the crack of dawn (or when Jason gets up at the crack of 8:00 a.m.), with the sun peeking over the beautiful mountains, and streaming in my windows. Plus, when the sun goes down at night, I don't get the full sunset that you might if you live out on the plains. There's mountains west of me too. The pink and orange hued colors contrast with the dark outline of the rugged mountains, and makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. Gross! Another thing is that most people here are LDS. That means I can have a gospel discussion with my hair dresser, mailman, taxidermist, or whomever. And when I take the kids to the pediatrician, their doctor (who's a bishop) and I talk about tricks of the trade on how to keep my particularly loud and boisterous 15 month old boy quiet during church. The nerve.

3. Cell phones. Everywhere I go, there's my trusty sidekick/parasite at my side. Throughout the day I keep getting calls from people asking how my day is going or to share funny stories with me. Then I have to keep the conversation going and share my feelings/joys/frustrations with them. And don't get me started on texting. It's annoying when in the middle of watching a particularly engrossing episode of Dora the Explorer, I get a text from my hubby saying "I love you". If I didn't have a cell phone, these little annoyances would never happen.

4. I have too much stuff. I have a house (which is warm in winter and cool in the summer), clothes for the family, shoes for the family, a place to sleep, blankets, food, very small rocks, etc., etc. All of these things I have to clean, wash, prepare, make, disinfect, etc. What's the deal? It's a source of constant work. And as my kids get older and grow up, I have to get more stuff for them. Clothes, shoes, toothbrushes, red velvet puffy stickers. You name it. I've tried giving some things away to charity, but I still have a lot of stuff around here. Just imagine if I didn't have all of these things around me. Just imagine.

5. Jiminy Cricket. My life would be a whole lot easier if this animated insect what take up residence somewhere other than my shoulder. His insistent chirping makes me trudge back into Wal-Mart, with my two crying, cranky, hungry kids, after discovering a tiny bottle of 99 cent pink, sparkly finger nail polish in my purse where Kaitlyn thought it would be a safe place to put it so it didn't drop on the floor. 'Chirp, Chirp ... go back in to buy the polish,' squeaks tiny cricket. 'Stuff it', cries tired, cranky, mommy. In the moment before I flick Jiminy back to Pinocchio, I realize the cricket is right. Argh!!! Back into the store I go. The little bug shows up at other times too. Be on the lookout for this little guy. The top hat is a dead giveaway.

Those 5 are it for now. Perhaps I'll work on my list again, when I'm feeling way too grateful, or when little Jiminy pipes up again and reminds me what I should be doing.